ARIES (March 21st-April 19th): Have a groovy Birthday, Aries! The way to celebrate is up to you, but I would strongly recommend some live music. Go see Karl Denson's Tiny Universe to reward the fact that you kept on keepin' on for another year on this purely physical plane. You will either be ultimately creative this month, or tragically stuck in a rut. Find yourself devising new ways to get on the guest list to see your favorite band or be spinnin' your wheels by never taking that old Phish bootleg you keep listening to over and over again out of your car stereo. No matter what venue you go to this month, there will be a creative and enjoyable show to be seen. People will think your new digs look phatty, too.

TAURUS (April 20th-May 20th): You may have to stop hangin' with your good bro, Dave. While you're at it, maybe stop hanging around with that kind chick, Sara. Actually, most of your friends have been stickin' around like the mixed smell of sweat and patchoulie......a bit too long. Get back from tour and take a "new pal shower!" You tell yourself that you'll start looking out for number one more, but your gracious nature finds you picking up two hitch-hikers on your way to see Widespread Panic at Redrocks. When you go out to catch a show, you hear the song you were hoping to hear all month long, though, lucky Bull.

GEMINI (May 21st-June 20th): You will witness the awesome spectacle of a new Super Band with members like Steve Kimock, Oteil Burbridge, Trey Anastasio, Bob Gulotti, Merl Saunders, and Mike Kang! April Fools!!!!!!!! You'll be doing the same old same old this month. Which ain't so bad since you saw a ton of live music last month. You may not be able to communicate your ideas clearly this month. It's like you're playing bass and have a great musical idea, but the rest of the band is just not tuned in to where you want to take the jam. It does all come together eventually. Unless you're a closet N'Sync fan, you should be feeling quite high by mid-month. By month's end you're as sharp as a freshly strung guitar.

CANCER (June 21st-July 22nd): You certainly have your dancing shoes on in the first half of the month! You'll be able to bust a serious move on doing those pesky things that Cancers so enjoy doing. Spring clean your wallet which is packed with cards, notes, and receipts or reorganize your tape collection (yes, put all of those tapes and discs back in their correct cases). As Apollo Creed said in Rocky III, "There is no tomorrow!!" You get right down to it this month. For you, it's an incredibly sick and intense, deep second set psychedelic voyage of a jam.......AS A FIRST SET OPENER!!. A good month as long as you don't screw it up. Make sure that you bring some tapes on the family roadtrip or risk being forced to listen to Air Supply, Bobby Vinton, and John Denver for the entire 2 hours.

LEO (July 23rd-August 22nd): That crap going down with your jobby-job is so lame. Like you need the grief. As long as you're not fired by now, everything should take care of itself with that scene. Use it as a springboard of change. Instead of checking out the Dark Star Orchestra or the Zen Tricksters as usual, go see moe. or Medeski, Martin and Wood. The rest of the time will be spent with your extended jam family in an effort to heal through the sweet vibes of music. Some friends may feel neglected but just tell them to think about the Easter Bunny hoppin' their way as Christ rises from the dead. That should make 'em think. Or not, maybe.

VIRGO (August 23rd-September 22nd): Everything will be running as slick as the appearance of a freshly blown glass piece for you the first week of the month, Virgo. All the colors and patterns flow beautifully! After that, you may need some time to just meditate on the state of "things." Sit on your hippest rug with your legs crossed and your eyes closed while listening to some ultra-mellow Floyd. I know you are the linear type and like a song to progress in a neat and tidy manor, but going way off on a spiritual tangent may be very good for some regeneration. If you were born near the end of the sign, you could be on a slightly bad trip. You may be feeling slightly sketched or uneasy. You may even question your morals, religion, and the qualities of every band you hold dear! Just take a swig of Magic Hat or Pike's Place Pale Ale and ride the wave, baby.

LIBRA (September 23rd-October 22nd): While most people sit, some of you Libras will be able to keep dancing and dancing to an incredibly long set of music. Like a bunch of crazed Energizer-style Easter bunnies, really. You will have a special relationship, perhaps even sexual, with an authority figure. This person could likely be a teacher. You may find that your harmonious chorus of a relationship with this person is suddenly going dreadfully out of key around the third week. You may seem as abrasive as the Dude of Life's song "Francella" to some people. You feel pretty focused in on the show, however, and those people are just the background noise of chatter from the bar area. All in all, this month you are one horny freak!

SCORPIO (October 23rd-November 21st): You still have that lingering radiance of power. You are like Neal Cassidy in your foresight and eerie psychic ability this month. Your need for information that usually has you scouring the web for setlists, Mp3's, and band schedules will be satiated. Because of this, you will be "in the now" and will not want to be easily distracted. So much as someone coughing during a fast-paced tune by the Blueground Undergrass would make you want to scream with frustration! But most folks know you are the analytical and highly tuned in type already, with your climber's "head flashlight," your pen, and your paper to keep track of all the stats as they happen. You need to decide between two of your favorite players, Mickey Hart or Chick Corea, around mid-month.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22nd-December 21st): This just in.......Phish is breaking up. April Fools!!!! Actually, you should just keep groovin' along to the same Uncle Sammy jam you have been enjoying all the while. While you may feel that you shouldn't have done that last shot of Cuervo, all in all you are able to go the distance. Don't get into a musical debate of why you think the Disco Biscuits are better than Soulive with anyone right now as it will likely escalate to a physical confrontation. Just chill, dude. Nice and peaceful like. The band comes back from set break and kicks it in to high gear for the second half of the month! Fellow audience members will want to pass you things. You will somehow be able to squiggle to the front of the drink line at a crowded concert after being the first to get to the bathroom. You will be in tune with the Earth come Earth Day, too.

CAPRICORN (December 22nd-January 19th): The powerful set of epic proportions just will not end for you, Capricorn. The great news just keeps rolling in. Steely Dan will be playing near you. Then Roger Waters. Then Jimmy Cliff. A boost to your career will make all the little problems disappear. No more whining about the old crappy stereo or the lack of munchables in the kitchen cabinet! Look for an older person to figure significantly. Maybe you'll be seeing David Grisman, Phil Lesh, or Taj Mahal. Have a friend bring by some music you've never heard before. Expand your mind.

AQUARIUS (January 20th-February 18th): You have some really bad car-ma lately. It's the bad karma that is strictly related to your car. First the breaks went out. Then the timing belt breaks. Next, you get a flat tire while trying to get to that killer show you've been looking forward to at the Wetland's. But by mid-month, you may be thinking about life in a whole new way. It's like when you first understood and respected the power and beauty of jazz music. Make sure it's the direction you want to be moving, though. Some of you may come up with wild new ways to dress and show yourself off. You may also approach a relationship in a unique way. Maybe you'll softly sing Bob Marley tunes in your lover's ear or buy him/her the newest Homegrown hit.

PISCES (February 19th-March 20th): You may still have that nagging urge to wash the dishes, clean the house, and do your laundry. Don't worry, like all killer jams, the urge will subside. Every now and then you will want to turn up the volume on the stereo and rock along on the drums as fiercely as possible, but mostly you'll just want to lay around and think your strange fishy thoughts. You'll think of seeing Rush open for Colonel Bruce Hampton and the Code Talkers somewhere in rural Kansas field at sunset. Perhaps you'll imagine seeing a Juggling Suns show where the entire band is hanging from the ceiling in long wicker baskets. You are good at coming up with these weird and random thoughts and will be able to do so quite well all month long. You're a trippy dude. You'll probably hear some cosmic message of vast significance in a simple rendition of "Birdsong" that will spur you to an incredibly creative feat.