In case any of you missed it, we ran April Fool's stories this month. Here's the link, go check them out, then come back and we'll give credit where it's due...

http://www.jambands.com/news/news32.html#4-01-9

The stories were written by...

Gamelan- Budnick, Steinberg (aka ZZYZX)
New Deal- Budnick
Weir- Evan Newman
Phish- Erica Lynn Gruenberg
Uncle Sammy- Budnick
Egyptian- ZZYZX
Eagle Hardware- Steinberg
Backstreeting Daylights- David
Gamera- (my favorite) David ZZYZX Steinberg

Here are a few more, btw, the first by David "zzUBIQUITOUSzx" Steinberg, the latter two by Carol "I'm a bass hero and Dean is a big fan but I have slight problems with Deadlines" Wade

Big Wu Under Investigation

The Big Wu are under investigation from the Federal Truth in Band Name Committee, said John Spears of the FTBNC. "Sure, they say they're the Big Wu, but for all we know, they could be the Medium Wu, the Teensy Wu, or even the Infinitesimal Wu. We will get our best Wu measurer on this case immediately."

The Big Wu refused comment on this story, saying that their Wu amount was self evident. If they do have to change their name, this would be the first enforced name change since the Karl Denson Great Big Gigantic Huge Honkin' Universe Horns came under scrutiny in 1998.

Well-Haired Rockers Announce Ironic Supergroup
By F. Ida Bigbouti

NEW YORK - In a strange twist of unorthodox "jam rock" outcroppings in recent (see Oysterhead, http://www.superflypresents.com/frame.html), ex-Guns N' Roses ( http://www.gnronline.com/) axeman Slash has announced a team up with acid-freakout guitarist, Buckethead ( http://www.bucketheadland.com). Taking the limits of absurdity to the next level, the hirsute duo will tour the "art circuit" on New York's Lower East Side, claiming the name SLASHBUCKET.

To launch this summer's totally weird "Brush of Evil" Tour, the pair will first play an all acoustic "all-nite hippy jam" at NYC's famed nightspot, Wetlands. "I'm psyched for SLASHBUCKET," Wetlands talent buyer Jake Szufnarowski said earlier today on his questionable find. "I mean, the place is gonna be covered with fake blood and hair by the time it's all over. And the rider's gonna be ridiculous. Gel, hairspray... I'm not even that high maintenance!" Buckethead, the ex-Praxis guitarist who is notable for a ghostfaced deathmask, twisting heaps of Satanic tresses and black, blazing barrages of acid-guitar death, could not be reached for comment at press time. The puzzling beacon of avant-seizure rock will be playing oud, bass mandolin, and the instrument known as the Pencilina (invented and played by ersatz member of King Missle III, Brandon Reed, http://www.transcendent.org/Bradford.html). "This might even be a call for FLACO, the fire-breathin' fool. There's gonna be a lotta hairspray here," Szufnarowski chortled. The show, and tour, are an expected sellout.

Pink Floyd Tribute Band Grows Pyramid, Resurrects Wetlands Air Conditioning System
By Allin Stentch

NEW YORK CITY - Premier hippie stronghold Wetlands saw some real freakin' eerie crap last night. Pink Floyd ( http://listen.to/pinkfloyd) cover-gods, The Machine, played their penultimate performance, the second-to-last in the band's final stand. In the middle of their first-set rendition of the Floyd album, Animals, an incredible facsimile of the Great Pyramid of Khufu ( http://www.greatbuildings.com/ buildings/Great_Pyramid.html) appeared in the middle of the dance floor, seriously endangering the already-damaged disco ball which hangs over the crowd. (the zircon-encrusted ball got kicked at the previous night's raging Epitaph Records hardcore spree). Moments later, the long-suffering Wetlands air conditioning unit wheezed to life, breathing cool air over the sold out crowd.

"I couldn't f*ckin' believe it!" said Wetlands' long-szuferin' talent buyer, Jakey "Bad Fer Bizness" Szufnarowski. "I think it might have had something to do with all these weird-ass flyers that we made with these trippy eyes on them. Jambands.com might put one of them on the site if someone there gets their crap together. It's better than those kiddie seizures in Japan with the Pokemons... the sales'll go through the roof!" Jakey Kinko's was referring to flyers promoting Wetlands' upcoming three-day visit from Southern-seared Blue Floyd (http://bluefloyd.com/), June 19-21.

An anonymous flyer-agent plastered the sometimes fabulous, sometimes irritating and generally dope and trip-a-delic Wetlands basement with the flyers, moments before the show. Random fans were reportedly everything from "pooping themselves" to "Thinking it was something someone had dropped into my Sierra Nevada," as murmured Nolan Braw of Fair Lawn, New Jersey, shortly after the astounding manifestation of mankind's greatest architectural triumph occurred.

"I like aliens," said Szufnarowski. "If they sell tickets. Otherwise, they can go f*ck themselves."