|
|
DownerMan Revival
by Alek Grabinski - alek@best.com
How About a 40-Hour Week Instead?
To: Human Resources
From: Alek Grabinski x67028
Re: Service Award
I recently completed two years at this company. About two months ago, I received an elaborate mailing from our service award company. This catalog, done in full color and on heavy glossy paper, not only showed me what I could get for my two years, but it also included all the options available to all levels of service. It was a great big catalog, and it was full of exciting goodies. What it did not include, however, was an option to not receive anything, which was my choice.So I ignored the mailing.
Another mailing showed up about six weeks later. In it, the service company expressed disappointment that I hadnt made a selection, and gave me an option to do so again. I didn't want to keep disappointing two companies, so I opted for the stainless steel writing pen.
The pen arrived today. Its a lovely writing instrument.
The pen was encased in a handsome, large plastic case. Inside, the case is lined with a faux velvet lining, apparently on a plastic substrate. Being an engineer, I know how they get that velour-like polymer fuzz to stick to the plastic, but that in no way detracts from the luxuriousness. Man, to be that pen, entombed in gray velvet - a regular Count Crossula. Inside a compartment is a 7 x 13" piece of paper which explains how to use the pen. Cool, I needed that.
This plastic coffin was tucked into a light cardstock sleeve.
The sleeve and case were placed in a cardboard mailing box. Also in this box were the packing slip (a full 8 1/2 x 11" sheet of white paper), a full sheet of packing paper, and a small 3/4 x 3/4" square of paper expressing Congratulations and providing a phone number to call the award company (800 649-xxxx), in case I had questions about the award.
Once I removed the pen, I went to break the contents down into their respective recycling bins. As I tried to figure out whether glossy paper and computer paper fit, or whether the faux velvet plastic stuff was really plastic (and if so, is it Type 1, or 2, or 6, or 3.75), I got increasingly upset with the wastefulness of it all.
I did not want a token of recognition for my years of service to this company. The satisfaction I get from working here comes from the work I do and the relationships I have formed with my staff, manager, and coworkers. I would like there to be a box on the award form that reads, "Thanks, but theres no need to send me anything." While I appreciate the gesture, it rings hollow when I realize that my employment contract is at-will - meaning this company can fire me at any time, for any reason, with no cause and no justification - and that this corporation has exercised this right in two severe layoffs in the past three years.
And the packaging! Good gravy... America is known the world over for its extravagance, its wastefulness, its focus on packaging and prettiness almost as bad as Japan* and this award only serves to underscore that. Please recognize that many of the two-year veterans who are going through this process are "Generation X," and if theres one thing that this generation believes, its that the environment is screwed and corporations are to blame. Please, how about a few changes to the service awards program which show that this company is as concerned about the natural world as it is in demonstrating to its employees that it "cares"?
Valued cog,Alek Grabinski
* Japan reigns as the world leader in packaging absurdity. I've seen this in many train stations and department stores: six finger sandwiches, each individually wrapped in tissue paper. Each resting in its own berth in a plastic tray. Tray in a cardboard box bottom, with a flimsy plastic lid. All of this shrinkwrapped. This package wrapped in gift wrap paper, complete with ribbon and fancy tape. This present slid into a heavy logo-ized shopping bag, complete with handles. All for three egg-salad and three cucumber sandwichlets. Now don't get me wrong - they're tasty as all get-out. But when the packaging outweighs the contents, there's something seriously wrong.
DM
DownerMan is recovering from a weird rash which has - you're not really listening, are you?
|
| JamBands.Com is published on the 15th of every month. Submissions are due ten days earlier on the fifth of each month. Please contact the specific editor for the section you are interested in contributing to. For general content comments, please e-mail jambands@jambands.com. For all technical web site related issues, please contact Sarah Bruner or David Steinberg |