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Columns > David Steinberg - Some Are Mathematicians

Published: 2001/06/19
by David Steinberg

A Sudden Idea

I was halfway through a column titled "Cranky Old Man" in which I
dissed every jamband known to man (eg "They couldn’t spell the word
‘Song’ if I spotted them the S, N, and G and they were eating a bowl
of Cheerios"), when an inspiration hit. Why am I being cranky? Well
that’s because the only band that really moves me these days is on
hiatus. Why are they on hiatus? I don’t know… but maybe, just
maybe, it’s because they don’t know how much we love them.
One day at Bard, when I was really bored, I wrote someone a letter.
Rather than the usual technique of writing it on paper and putting it
in an envelope, I wrote it on 50 postcards that I mailed out over a 3
day period. As I explained it, "Imagine how cool it would be to go
get your mail and have 15 postcards waiting for you…. and then the
next day you got another 20 postcards… and then another 10 the day
after…. You’d feel really loved." Ok, this letter never got read
and the recipient thought I was a freak, but it’s worth another try.
So here’s the plan. If you miss Phish, go out and buy 20 or 30
postcards. On the back write simply, "If you end the hiatus, I’ll
be your best friend!" and draw a smiley face or put on
some stickers or something. Mail them off to:
Box 4400
Burlington, VT
It might not end the hiatus earlier, but if nothing else, imagine the
looks on their faces when they’re told that they received 10,000
postcards. It’s our chance to play a little joke on them. Let’s do
P.S. If you read this after July 15th, 2001, don’t send anything.
This kind of joke is only funny for a little while.
David Steinberg got his Masters Degree in mathematics from New Mexico
State University in 1994. He first discovered the power of live music
the Capitol Centre in 1988 and never has been the same. His Phish
website is at and he was the stats section editor
The Phish Companion.

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