A Survival Guide to moe.down
ALWAYS BRING A SECOND (OR THIRD) PAIR OF PANTS (AND USE YOUR FLASHLIGHT)
A few years back, one of my buddies went to piss in the woods on the hill. He slipped and fell on his ass… on/in a pile of someone’s (sausage pizza?) puke. Ol’ Puke Butt only brought 1 pair of pants to moe.down. Luckily, he did have 1 pair of shorts to wear while he scrubbed his pants in the cold Adirondack night, cursing in disgust. Some say on a clear night if you listen carefully, you can still hear the howls of Puke Butt deep within the hills of Turin. “Nooooo!! Noooo!! Whyyyyyy??”
IF IT RAINS ON FRIDAY...
If it shitstorms on Fri > Sat AM, during the Saturday afternoon moe. set, when the bass and drums really get going (like if you’ve got a Timmy or Brent Black or SOMP or Bearsong), the pool of water that has collected in the tarp above the stage finally gives way and a spectacular wave of water is released upon the front/center of the crowd. Best view in the house, eh? Recipients of this soaking will get laughed at by the band & rest of the audience. You’ve been warned.
Take note of the cleaning schedule and attempt to synchronize your body with it. You may want to bring along some TP in case there’s a shortage.
COTTON BALLS ARE YOUR FRIENDS
Some folks prefer earplugs, but sometimes just a little piece of a cotton ball combined with the tinnitus you already have, makes the perfect white noise sleep-aid for moe.down. Strong enough to to dampen the shitty guitar playing, drum circles, and your neighbors practicing their “Rebel Yells” at 4am, but light enough that you’ll hear the crazy girl screaming “THE CAMPSITE IS ON FIRE!! THE CAMPSITE IS ON FIRE!!” after she throws a lit stove at security for trying to bust her nitrous operation.
On a serious note- keep an eye on each other and be safe. It should go without saying that friends don’t let friends buy mixed drinks from a Wook.
Don’t forget to check out the stars.
DON’T THROW THINGS AT THE BANDS (NOT JUST A moe.down RULE)
Holy crap, I was mortified when someone hit John McCrea from Cake with a glowstick a few years back. We’re lucky he didn’t walk off. Cat In The Hat, I’m looking at YOU.
THOSE PROPZ... ARE NOT MAD AT ALL
Eventually, someone with a “prop” is going to block your view of the stage. It happens every year. This person thinks the entire crowd would rather see a giant jellyfish instead of the last 3 minutes of Perry Farrell’s set. Or a flying pig on a stick that’s bouncing right in front of Chuck’s face for an hour. It’s annoying as shit. I’m not sure what my bit of advice is on these, but go with your gut. Your gut might say to break that prop-master’s thumbs. Sometimes mine does. I haven’t, but have often fantasized about how awesome it would be. Yeah… Yeah, I’ll bet it’d be awesome.
By Sunday night you will be broken. I don’t run, but I imagine this is what runners refer to as “hitting the wall”. You can make it, you’ve just gotta keep pushing!!! You’re almost there! It’s gonna be worth it!!! Also, take more advil.
And last but certainly not least…
DON’T BLOCK MY VIEW OF ROB
This is pretty self-explanatory.
Have a happy moe.down, everyone! To ELEVEN!