A Brief Word from Cosmic Zink: I finally realize that nobody really reads this paragraph, as I received no responses to my "contest" from last month. At first I was kind of bummed about this revelation. Later I realized the reason why nobody really reads this top paragraph. Because this is a horoscope section! Duh. If I'm looking at the newspaper and I want to read my horoscope do I look above the Aries horoscope first for some paragraph from the writer? Hell no! I just zip down to Pisces, glean the knowledge in question, and move on. That's what jambands.com readers do, too. For this reason, this will be the last of my "brief words." I'm sure most people were thinking "What the f*ck is this?" when they saw a random line or two for their horoscope last month. If anyone wants to know what song his or her 'horoquote' was from last month, drop me an e-mail. If anyone did read this paragraph regularly and will miss it, e-mail me and I'll send you a paragraph of mindless dribblings whenever you want. Now let's get started with the groovy 'scopes. Enjoy!

ARIES(March 21st-April 19th): Look dawg, yer custies are all going to be headed south this February, and maybe you should be, too. Seems there's quite a rager lined up in N'Awlins called Mardi Gras, and the party people of the world will unite there in full force. While yer down there you may as well catch the Radiators put on a funked out Cajun flavored show that will get you in the festive spirit. Keep positive thoughts flowing through your brain all month or you may wind up in some sorta bummin' situation. I don't know what it is, exactly, but it could be seriously bummin'.

TAURUS(April 20th-May 20th): Your luck is in an upswing right now, Mr. Bull. Remember when you went home to the 'rents house during college for the holiday break and you brought that sack full of diggity? Then your dad opened the trunk and asked you, "Why does it smell like a skunk in here? Were you camping or something?" THAT'S how lucky you are this month. If you want to hold on to that smile and a giggle, keep things rolling with a show from Jiggle. These Boston freaks seem to have an endless supply of energy and will no doubt floor you with their high-caliber musicianship.

GEMINI(May 21st-June 20th): Remember when you were 15 or 16 and were seeing your first Dead show? No? Ok, how 'bout Phish then? You can flash back to the old school days when there wasn't nearly as much variety in the jam band scene by seeing Phil and Friends this month. Or if you were a Phish youth, there's always the Trey band coming your way. Either way, these flashbacks won't be exactly as you remembered. Get ready for sick new guitar riffs from Jimmy Herring or cool horn fills from Dave Grippo. What comes around goes around..and morphs a little with each passing year. Enjoy change, dude, and don't fear it. And if you have any to spare, please spare it.

CANCER(June 21st-July 22nd): You've been kickin' it at home a lot this month and are feeling the itch to get out and do something. The veggin' out thing is getting stale. Suddenly the phone rings and it's your old friend Larry. He tells you about how he and Curly are coming over with an extra ticket to see moe. This change may be just what you're looking for to get out of your rut. The show rocks and you feel revived from the energy. To keep from being a stooge all month long, see live music often.

LEO(July 23rd-August23rd): The lion may try to lay down a trap for the opposite sex this month. The strange thing is, it just may succeed. Your newly found sense of purpose impresses your prey as intended for once. Your love life is picking up as quickly as the fast and furious bluegrass picking of the Yonder Mountain String Band. These guys put on a fiery show that rages with bluegrass energy. After this crazy night out on the town, you'll be sure to close the deal with that special someone.

VIRGO(August 24th-September 23rd): You feel like there's something missing this month. You can't really place it, but something's just not right. You decide to try and shake out of this creepy malaise by catching some live music. As you leaf through the paper, you see that Strangefolk is in town. You quickly jet down to the venue and realize what was missing all along just as the band takes the stage. Reid is missing from Strangefolk! Your mind is very open, however, and you really enjoy this new incantation of one of your favorite bands. Celebrate with a spliff!

LIBRA(September 24th-October 23rd): During this deep dark winter season, your mind often wanders to thoughts of a warm summer festival with tons of bands, folks, and camping. You think back to the Ho Down in Wendell, MA last year and remember that it is just about time to see Schleigho again. This acid jazzy band impresses easily with their cool arrangements and musical dexterity. As you warm yourself up with musical thoughts, don't forget about some family obligations this month, bro. You promised your boy that you would hook him up with some new discs, so do it.

SCORPIO(October 24th-November 21st): Although Tye and Jeff are no longer with Leftover Salmon, they still put on one of the most entertaining shows of any jam band. This is perfect for you since you've been feeling kind of bored this month. Low-energy has been your problem, but the Salmon get you up and moving. You even start laughing when Vince talks about the Mayor McCheese. Keep this trend going by teaching yourself a couple new tunes on the guitar. If you can't figure out all of the chords yourself, grab some guitar tabs from the internet and spread the musical love by playing for your friends, man.

SAGITTARIUS(November 22nd-December 21st): Things are just rockin' away for you this month. Yer dreadie friend hooked you with some sick headies, you get free tickets to some cool shows, and your band gets to open for a big national act. What a solid groove you have built up, dood! Keep the groove going by taking in a Soulive show. If a good groove is what you want, you need go nowhere else. This funky band will lay down some sweet jams for you to enjoy. Don't be greedy, either, bring a friend along!

CAPRICORN(December 22nd-January 20th): Ever since you got that new CD burner, you've been dubbing discs for almost everyone you know. You feel like you may be taken advantage of this month. While you dub everything from A to Z, don't forget K-Dub. Yes, Keller Williams is in your town and his one-man super band will make you forget any bad vibes. Also, try to eat more vegetables this month. Carrots help you see while mushrooms help you see lots of crazy stuff that usually isn't there. Just enjoy it.

AQUARIUS(January 21st-February 18th): I see stellar musicianship in your future. I see some of the most badass bass playing on earth in your future, not to mention top-notch banjo playing. As you swim through this month, Bela and the Flecktones come to your watery mind. Future Man's strange synth-axe drums remind you to think of things in different ways than you usually do. You decide that new bands and styles of music are a must this month. This musical smorgasbord soothes your soul as you take in jazz, Irish, techno, and jam music.

PISCES(February 19th-March 20th): Pisces, you don't know what the funk is going on. Well, you do in your own strange fishy way. Nobody else really knows what the funk you're thinking, though, with all your funked-out thoughts and musings. Tell them all to funk off because you're not having any of it. You decide to funk shit up by catching Moon Boot Lover. Peter Prince's soulful vocals inspire you while the waves of music force you to dance like a mad person. Why am I saying LIKE a mad person? You ARE mad. Keep it up.