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Inaudible
Hiss
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Edited
by Brian Ferdman
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As many of you know, the lifeblood of the jamband community stems from the online world. We use the Internet to setup trades and B&Ps for coveted CDs and tapes of our favorite bands’ live performances, we read news about the bands and the scene, and we meet new friends who share a common love for great live music. Much of the interaction between fellow music lovers takes place on email discussion lists. Jamband enthusiasts and curiosity-seekers gather together in ongoing online dialogue about one specific band. I have found these lists to be wellspring of inspiring stories, humorous anectdotes, passionate discourse, insightful knowledge, and intellectual confabulation. Here is a prime example of a daily digest of a random jamband’s discussion list:
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 07:24:19 -0500 dooooooooooood! last nights show was so killer! man! it was just dooooooooooood! man! i cant even talk about it! doooooooooood! -------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 08:16:39 -0500 Gotta second the motion there man. We got so whacked out of our head it was wicked. They were playing some incredible shit. I wish I could remember just some of it. Can anyone hook me up with discs so I can jog my memory? -------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 08:27:17 -0500
Oh, this is just ridiculous! How many times do we have to tell you newbies? I’m really getting sick of this crap. If you can’t play by the rules, you can’t play in my yard. As of April 16, 1997, the Supreme Council of (band name) Tapers established an edict decreeing that tapes will not be circulated of a given show until a 60-day waiting period for mortals has elapsed. However, the Brotherhood of Tapers are free to trade these tapes within their own ranks, and all members are entitled to barter their tapes in exchange for sexual favors or dinner. I might as well take this time to remind everyone that come June 1, 2001, the word "analog" will be banned from this list. That’s less than four months away, and we just want to make sure that everyone has ample time to rid themselves of their old inferior XLII cassettes. -Rich "All the mathematical sciences are founded on relations between physical laws and laws of numbers, so that the aim of exact science is to reduce the problems of nature to the determination of quantities by operations with numbers." - James Clerk Maxwell -------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 09:04:10 -0500
Bill Radolf
"As of April 16, 1997, the Supreme Council of (band name)
Tapers established an edict decreeing that tapes will not
be circulated of a given show until a 60-day waiting period for mortals has elapsed.
However, the Brotherhood of Tapers are free to trade these tapes within their own ranks,
and all members are entitled to barter their tapes in exchange for sexual favors or dinner.
"
Yeah whatever man. Why don’t you step away from your computer for a few minutes and
visit the outside world? We even allow losers like you to exist out here.
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 09:11:18 -0500
Am I supposed to respond to that? I’m still trying to decipher your adolescent ramblings. When you hit puberty and learn how to form a coherent thought, send me an email.
- Rich
"All the mathematical sciences are founded on relations between physical laws and
laws of numbers, so that the aim of exact science is to reduce the problems of
nature to the determination of quantities by operations with numbers." -
James Clerk Maxwell
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Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 09:58:38 -0500
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 11:21:11 -0500
Why are you guys bickering? You know, you should feel lucky. At least you get
to see (band name) play in your town. I’ve been into (band name) for 5 years,
and they still haven’t come to Whitehorse yet!
I don’t get it boys! If anyone out there from (band name) management is listening,
please consider coming up to Whitehorse on the Spring Tour. Life is beautiful up here
in the Yukon Territories of the Great White North. After this mild winter, the weathermen
are saying that the temperature could conceivably break 30 degrees in May. Now
that’s what I call paradise! Plus, you guys have a huge following up here. I know
at least four other people who would come out to see you.
Think about it.
Peace out,
Drew
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 11:21:11 -0500
Greetings (band name)heads!
This email is to notify you of (band name)’s upcoming Spring Tour.
(band name) will be playing the following dates:
4/17/01 The Confederate Hero - Vicksburg, MS
Those are all the dates that we know about right now.
Look for an announcement concerning the June mini-tour to be announced
in the next week or so. We expect to be opening for Hall & Oates in their
tour of VFW Halls in the sun belt!)
In the meantime, mail order for the Spring Tour will begin on February 10th.
Please see
We have to reject a lot of mail orders because people do not follow the proper
directions. Please remember to include a 3 by 5 inch notecard with your name,
address, phone number, email address, blood type, shoe size, favorite Pokemon
character, and philosophical bent on the concept of existence. Also, don’t forget
to spend at least 3 hours decorating your envelope because we like our trash to
look pretty.
All tickets for the Spring Tour will be $15.00 This is the mailorder price.
If you use Ticketmaster, you will incur the following additional charges per each ticket:
$2.75 - credit card charge
Thanks,
Sue
"Shall we dip ourselves into the sweet succulent nectar of grooviness?" -
(name of mediocre poet who writes lyrics for the band)
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 12:07:44 -0500
This is a conspiracy! Whitehorse gets overlooked again!
And you’re gonna practically be in my damn backyard!
ARRRRRRGGGGGHHH!
Peace out,
Drew
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Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 12:44:19 -0500
Hi everyone, sorry for the n(band) content, and the waste of bandwidth.
But I couldn't resist posting this off-topic irrelevant urban legend
of a petition, especially since there is a real chance that Speaker of the
House Newt Gingrich is gonna kill Sesame Street. Please read this petition,
and type your name and city at the end. Then piss-off everyone you know by
forwarding the petition along. Eventually, someone should send the petition
to the bogus email address listed.
>On NPR's Morning Edition last week, Nina
>> Tottenberg said that if the Supreme Court
>> supports Congress, it is in effect the end of the
>> National Public Radio (NPR), NEA (the National
>> Endowment for the Arts) & the Public Broadcasting
>> System (PBS).
1051) Frank D. Millinger - Hahvahd Yahd, MA
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 14:24:02 -0500
Could any of my peeps out there keeping it real hook me up with some fatty chronic?
I’d like to roll some spliffs to keep the party going all night. I can send cash,
if you’ll send some doobage to me in the mail.
Keep it on the "down-low" please and email me if you have my hook-up.
Word to your maternal figure,
Milton W.
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Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 14:44:19 -0500
im sorry but (bass player’s name) sux…he never stands up and hes so lame compare
to the rest of the band…the guy cant rock…they need to get rid of him and get
someobody else cool in there…(bass player’s name) is the weak link in this band.
"Music oft hath such a charm
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 14:48:00 -0500
Mary Lispenard < 420nuggetsinmybong@lycos.com > wrote:
You know what? You suck.
Where do you think you get off saying that (bass player’s name) sucks?
Do you even like this band?
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 15:03:14 -0500
he sux…deal with it yo…they need to dump his ass
"Music oft hath such a charm
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 15:06:52 -0500
That’s what I call brilliance! You know Phishhead
, you really should consider getting your GED before
you start trying to converse with adults.
Now that Phish is on hiatus, you should have plenty of time to attend classes.
Of course, you and your little drug addict Phishhead phriends would need to
sober up for a few minutes, and God forbid that you go 5 seconds without your
precious nuggets.
Do us all a favor, and stay out of the (band name) scene.
We don’t need your patchouli stench, we don’t need your nasty dreds,
and we don’t need your phatty grilled cheese.
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 15:11:09 -0500
what you talking bout yo…i don’t like phish…i like eminem sucka
"Music oft hath such a charm
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 15:15:32 -0500
You don’t really expect us to believe that you’re not a Phishhead, do you?
Sure, you could say that I have no right to stereotype you as a Phishhead, but
you sound just like one, and they all sound the same. It’s a little too obvious,
so just go back to your little Vanagon and drive to Burlington where you belong.
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 16:16:27 -0500
God damn it! Knock it off!
I’m sick of you friggin losers constantly bitching about Phish.
This negativity is ridiculous and I can’t stand stupid idiots like you.
You are destroying this list and making my day horrible. You keep bringing
me down with all of your senseless whining and moaning. You just keep talking
in circles, and IT IS DRIVING ME NUTS! I am disgusted with your childish behavior
and all of your immature name calling you morons. You just keep saying the same thing
over and over again, and it’s as thought you’ve made your point a long time ago, but you
just insist upon restating the same point in different words, creating incredibly
long-winded posts full of run-on sentences.
If you don’t knock this crap off, I’m quitting this list.
I mean it.
Don’t try to stop me.
Peace and love,
Bob
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 16:16:27 -0500
Could you stop being so negative about negativity?
I keep getting electronically transmitted bad karma from your emails. Please stop.
Feel the love. Sure we’re trying to comminucate through cold, lifeless machines,
but if you take the time to add an emoticon like ;^) everyone will have a much better
day!
:-)
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 16:16:27 -0500
Oh spare me your new age happy love-in garbage.
I said that I’m sick of negativity and I am.
If people don’t stop being negative, I’m outta here.
I’m serious.
Peace and Love,
Bob
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 16:57:12 -0500
I have to admit that I’m amused by all of this discussion.
It really helps pass the time at work. Sure, I could be busting my butt
for my slave-driver boss, but it’s a lot more fun to read this mindless chatter.
I don’t really care that I am helping to create an economic recession with my poor
work ethic that drives down our Gross National Product. I’m having fun!
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 17:33:31 -0500
Here’s my weekly spamming of the Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe gig schedule.
Everyone knows that I don’t ever contribute anything worthwhile to any list,
but you will always get plenty of off-topic posts about the life and times of Karl.
That being said, here’s my free advertising of KDTU’s schedule (as if you
haven’t already seen this on every other music list).
2-8-01 Chicago, IL House of Blues*
--------------------------------------------
New Official Website of Karl Denson at
-------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 18:29:00 -0500
Okay, that’s it. I can’t stand this KDTU guy and his negative spamming.
Every damn list is filled with this crap. I know more about Karl Denson than my wife!
I’m warning everyone.
I am getting really REALLY close to quitting this list.
You can try to stop me, but if I don’t get enough attention, I’m Audi5000.
Peace and Love,
Bob
--------------- END v004.n384 ---------------
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Content: jambands@jambands.com | Technical: Sarah Bruner, Erica Lynn Gruenberg, and David Steinberg |