|
|
Taper Ted Okay, this is the final "month without a Mikey." I promise. However, I do have something for you this issue. Series co-star Taper Ted is in the midst of being spun off into a novel (and boy is he dizzy). Here's a taste. Is it funny? A bit. I may end up serializing the whole thing on the site. We'll see. Anyhow, Taper Ted is just one of the characters but here's a bit from him. It's taken out of context a bit into the work but it may whet your appetite a bit and sate you for thirty days. Enjoy! Next month Mikey's back with a vengeance (and I mean that literally to all of you lovers of good art)
by Dean Budnick - budnick@fas.harvard.edu
Imagine yourself in the taping section of a Grateful Dead show circa 1991 (and in the midst of a novel, somewhere near the midway point...)
TAPER TED
(Hey Teddy, can you come back here for a minute?)
"Just a second. Actually Mitch, you can help me from there, what do you think about this mike placement?"
(Your parabolas look good from here.)
(Hey! Don't talk dirty to my brother.)
(Your brother? You're Teddy's brother? Teddy, that's your brother? I thought he was off in medical school.)
"Me too but like a bad penny he keeps coming back."
(Yeah or a bad Minglewood.)
"You're still down on that that tune, huh? It wasn't bad the other night and that was only the second time he's played it this tour. Your problem is that you're stuck in the eighties back when he did it like every third night."
(Every other night. Nah, I just don't like the song. Too much posing and posturing.)
(Sounds like me. And if you're wondering why I'm here, spring break. I drove all the way up from Maryland to be with my big brother so I could watch his rotund friend Jermie.)
"Funny. Really funny."
(Hey they can't all be gems).
(So could you come back here?)
"Sure. Stay here Scoot and watch my stuff. And please don't touch anything."
(Yes, Mr. Wilson.)
Okay Ted, watch yourself though as you move back there.
"Excuse me...excuse me...Oops, sorry, just passing through. I have to talk to this guy...Okay, Mitch what's up?"
(I'm almost embarrassed to ask but do you have any analog blanks on you? A pair of 90's or ideally 100's?)
"Not with me. I've been digital for three years now. Come to think of it, just about as long as you have. So what's up?"
(In a few minutes I'm gonna be running on fumes.)
"Meaning?"
(I was having some problems with my deck so I brought it in this morning before I came out here. They didn't have any DATs for me to borrow so I took this D-6. The thing's not bad. I've run one of these before. The only problem will be the flip, it's like going back to the stone age.)
"Right. Barney Rubble never went digital. So what's the problem?"
(It's been a while since I've been analog. So I came in here, slightly strung out, carrying my pack full of ninety meter digital blanks. I'll trade you blank for blank, 90 meter DAT for analog. You'll make out like a bandit.)
"I understand that, I just don't have anything. Do you have any tape at all?"
(This kid right here who's running a D-3 is letting me use what's left of his first set master from last night until something else comes up. At least that way I can float him a signal.)
"Why doesn't he just patch out of someone else?"
(DAT or no DAT Neumanns are Neumanns. Besides, you know how it is down here. He's happy he's found someone who isn't giving him shit about not having his own mikes.)
"And he doesn't have another blank?"
(Just one for the second set. Kids today, they just don't come prepared.)
"But he's going to lose his signal when your tape runs out."
(Nah, if worse comes to worse I'll pay attention and hit pause just before then so that doesn't happen.)
"Well then why don't you just let him come out of your mikes and then you come out of him."
(I don't know if he can handle the Neumanns with a D-3. Besides, I'm hoping to come up with something.)
"Why don't you just run the D-6 with his blanks for him."
(Right and would you like me to cut his meat for him too? Polish his shoes? I'm the guy with the microphones.)
"I could always spin the show for you."
(Thanks but I don't want to have to wait. Especially if it's something that I'd like to hear tonight or tomorrow.)
"As Walter over there would point out, what are the odds of that? Ahh, that's a bullshit response. Wait, let me see...nah, I can't figure out where Rez is. If she were here I'd send her your way. My guess is that she's got an analog blank in her bag, at least one of the sets that I've spun down to analog over the past few days. The car's not digital yet."
(Yet.)
More to come...
April Issue: Home | Editors | Features | Columns | Photos | Regional | New Groove
Road Trip | Tour Journal | Venue | Levels | Ghosts | Homegrown | Inaudible | CDs | Charts
JamBands.Com is published on the 15th of every month. Submissions are due ten days earlier on the fifth of each month. Please contact the specific editor for the section you are interested in contributing to. For general content comments, please e-mail jambands@jambands.com. For all technical web site related issues, please contact Sarah Bruner or David Steinberg