They dropped the bomb again this year, and again it was a dud.

They dropped the bomb again this year, and again it was a dud. The 43rd Grammy Awards opened with Madonna singing her hit "Music." The tune celebrates the unifying powers of music: "Music brings the.people together." It was sung largely over pre-recorded sound tracks with the help of a DJ. Its main attraction was the choreography. But what did you expect? The Grammys are not the Jammys. The Recording Academy created The Grammy Awards to "honor artistic achievement, technical proficiency and overall excellence in the recording industry."

As always, the Academy tried to recognize musical greatness and, as always, they were twenty years behind. Guess who won Album Of The Year? Steely Dan! Awarding Steely Dan a Grammy for Album Of The Year wouldn't have been so outrageous if the year was 1977 and the album was Aja. But surely, like last year's runaway Santana success, the Academy was acting as a higher profile Rock N' Roll Hall Of Fame, inducting performers based on their career worth and not by their current recordings alone. At least I should hope not. I mean, I should hope that the Academy wouldn't view Two Against Nature as the best Steely Dan ever offered. Yet until this week, Steely Dan had never won a Grammy. Not a one, despite a legacy of music that left a visible mark on the history of rock. Ten years from now, twenty years from now, thirty years from now people will remember Steely Dan for songs like "Ricki Don't Lose That Number" and "Do It Again" - songs that were recorded in the 1970's. Not for anything the duo might have done post-humorously. And we're supposed to take the Grammys seriously?

How seriously can you take an Academy that awarded Shelby Lynne the win for Best New Artist? Best New Artist?!?! Shelby Lynne has released six albums during the last thirteen years, first cracking the Country Top 50 all the way back in 1989 for a duet with megastar George Jones. Best New Artist? Are you kidding me?

The Grammys simply can not be taken seriously. The Academy provides for a marginally interesting annual variety show and surely nothing meaningful beyond that. Everyone knows this, yet there's still some irresistible charm that winning a Grammy holds for the artists and their fans. Even for those who would have you believe that they're "not about that sort of thing." On the album that garnered him three wins this year, Eminem proclaims, "You think I give a damn about a Grammy? Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me." And then here he was last week, on the podium with a written out thank you speech - "I got this little list here because I can't let nobody down tonight."

The Academy continued its long-standing waltz with irony when Academy President Michael Greene gave an introduction to the much hyped Eminem/Elton John duet. In his speech, Greene acknowledged that, "music has always been the voice of rebellion.We are here to recognize those recordings which are notable, noticeable and oft times, controversial." Yet they didn't notice The Rolling Stones until 1994. Or Pink Floyd. And they still haven't noticed Led Zeppelin. Or The Doors. Or Neil Young. (For more Grammy crimes revisit last year's "De-Jamming The Grammys" http://www.jambands.com/kitchensink/kitchensink9.html)

The Academy might not know a lot about the cutting edge in music, but they've sure got a handle on innovations in irony. The winner in that category is the Recording Academy itself. What next? Giving Britney Spears a Lifetime Acheivement Award? Talking of Lifetime Acheivement Awards, the Academy gave one to Bob Marley this year. It was Bob Marley's first award from the Academy. He still hasn't won a Grammy.

Again the Grammys tried for street credibility and again they were always one step away. One very very LARGE step. That is not to say that the night was not without its moments. Most of these were found in the live performances, which ran from horrible to inspired. The first three of these "live" performances were nothing more than dance troupes singing over pre-recorded tracks (Madonna, *NSync, Destiny's Child). And a performance from Faith Hill prompted host Jon Stewart to comment, "By the way, she did have a backup band. I don't know if you noticed them."

U2 was the first rock band to take the stage and for the first time that night there were no gimmicks, no backdrops, no add-ons or extras, just a great band playing a great song. That's something you don't see everyday at the Grammys. It was a beautiful day and the sun was certainly shining on U2, who took home three awards. In an acceptance speech, Bono quipped, "I just have this feeling, or picture in my head of God looking down on people like us at occasions like this and going, 'Oh don't thank me for *that* song, there's no hook and the chorus is weak.'"

Moby, with help from The Blue Man Group and Jill Scott, fused performance art and multi-media presentation with experimental instrumentation and a colorful soundscape. The result was a challenging performance that was both entertaining and stimulating.

As for a Jammy presence at the Grammys, well, there was no Carlos Santana this year. The jam rock forefather swept last year's ceremony, taking home eight of the phonographic trophies. This year, jam rock's biggest victory wasn't found in the winner's circle but rather in the nominations themselves, where Phish - the jam kings - were nominated in two categories. They lost in both of course, but the nominations themselves were a victory for jam bands.even if that victory does come from a battle few in the genre would care to fight. Or know anything about. ("You think we give a damn about a Grammy?")

Crossover jammer Bela Fleck continues to make honor role at the Academy, taking home two wins this year including Best Contemporary Jazz Album (with his band, The Flecktones). The other jam band victories, as was the case last year, were found mostly in the nominations and awards given to the genre's forefathers, influences, and neighbors - such as B.B. King, Eric Clapton, Johnny Cash, Taj Mahal - rather than from the jam bands themselves.

Despite these minor triumphs and head-held-highs, the night really belonged to Steely Dan who, twenty years after originally disbanding, finally won an award for something. Good for them. And congratulations to the Academy for, once again, honoring outstanding musicians after having overlooked them for 20 years.

When last year's big gun Carlos Santana presented the award with Joni Mitchell for Song Of The Year, he joked that the winner was, "John Coltrane - A Love Supreme." With the Academy's track record, it wouldn't have been surprising. After all Santana didn't clean house until last year, decades after his more formidable records (Abraxas, Santana, Santana II, etc.) went unnoticed by the Recording Academy.

If this is all true, then Phish fans can rest easy. In 2021 Phish will surely sweep the Grammys with an album of lullabies and B-Sides that they released as an afterthought. Actually, that'll never happen. Phish would never release something as an afterthought.

(Click here for the winners list)