I'm confused. After watching the 42nd Annual Grammy Awards this year, I decided I'd try a brief write-up of the award show and what it means for music fans. I can round up the awards show easily enough. It's "what it means" that I find confusing. I have a strong suspicion that both the award show and its meaning can be summed up by a couple of elementary adjectives: Diddley-squat. Baloney. Bullshit.

The members of The National Academy Of Recording Arts & Sciences aren't fans of Jam Bands. That's me saying that. It's my opinion. It's my opinion that they don't even know what a Jam Band is exactly. It's also my opinion that members of the Academy, if pressed to name examples, would respond with The Dave Matthews Band or Blues Traveler. Not that those bands aren't jam bands, per-se, but they're hardly on the forefront. Today's forefront, anyway.

In fact, the members of The Academy aren't all too familiar with the forefront at large. But then, I suppose, it is not their job to be. Every year they nominate and vote for the artists who turned in the year's "best" recordings and "best" performances. What confuses me though is the Academy's (apparently haphazard) distinction between category titles such as "Song" and "Performance." One would assume that "Song" is the credibility of the music as it appears on paper, and "Performance" is the interpretation thereof. However, beyond the big ones (Rock, Pop, R&B) the smaller categories have an award delegated for one...or the other. There's "Best Salsa Performance" but no award for the Best Salsa Song, or Album. There's "Best Bluegrass Album" but no award for the Best Bluegrass Song, or Performance. Etc. Etc.

Stranger still: There are awards for vocalists, but none for specific instruments.

When I first considered a write-up of this year's Grammy Awards, I was encouraged by the fact that Santana won a record tying eight awards. After all, Santana is "one of us," no? I was encouraged by the wins of such phenomenal musicians as Sting, Tito Puente, B.B. King. I was encouraged by the failure of such toss-offs as The Backstreet Boys, Ricky Martin and Britney Spears to convert any of their nominations into awards, despite their undeniable commercial success. The Academy claims that the award show is "not a popularity contest." Perhaps, just perhaps, they are right on that account.

They also claim, however, that the awards are "to honor excellence in recording arts and sciences for artistic or technical achievement." ( www.grammy.com). I'm not so sure they are right about this one.

Consider this: Santana won eight awards this year. A record. Now consider this: Santana has been a recording artist since his debut in 1969. His albums include Abraxas, Santana, Santana II, Santana And Buddy Miles - all classics. He has credits on over 100 albums, including those of Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, John McLaughlin, Herbie Hancock, Jimmy Cliff, Willie Nelson and Aretha Franklin.

When Supernatural first came out I was given a press copy and started to write a review for Jambands.com when I scratched the idea. The album seemed to turn Carlos Santana into a Disneyland of sorts. I'm not saying that the album isn't good - it is. But it holds Santana back musically compared to some of his other works. Again, I'm not saying the album isn't good. Nor am I taking a shot at integrity. But by performing songs with (and written by) a plethora of today's biggest pop stars, many of the songs on the album are charades of the Carlos Santana that has become an icon of Woodstock culture.

Sure, "Smooth" is an instant sing-a-long, but when I think of Carlos Santana, I think of "Oye Como Va" and "Black Magic Woman" - neither of which has seen any Grammy recognition. Prior to this year, Santana, who is a member of The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, only won one Grammy. It was in 1988 for Best Instrumental ("Blues For Salvador"). Supernatural, although Santana's biggest seller, is hardly his signature one.

The Grateful Dead never won a Grammy. The Doors never won a Grammy. Led Zeppelin never won a Grammy. Queen never won a Grammy. Janis Joplin never won a Grammy. The Jefferson Airplane never won a Grammy. Neil fuckin' Young never won a Grammy. The Who never won a Grammy. Buddy Holly never won a Grammy. Peter Frampton never won a Grammy. Lynyrd Skynyrd never won a Grammy. Creedence Cleerwater Revival never won a Grammy. JJ Cale, Leonard Cohen, George Clinton never won Grammys. Cream never won a Grammy; neither did The Yardbirds.

Bob Marley never won a Grammy.

Jimi Hendrix never won a Grammy. Not a one! (Note: This year, Bob Smeaton [director], Neil Aspinall and Chips Chipperfield [producers] took home the Best Long-Form Video award for Hendrix's Band Of Gypsies).

Frank Zappa won two - one of which was for packaging. PACKAGING!!

The Velvet Underground never won a Grammy. Jane's Addiction never won a Grammy. The Talking Heads never won a Grammy. Sly and The Family Stone never won a Grammy. The Meters never won a Grammy. Sun Ra never won a Grammy.

Pink Floyd didn't win until 1994 when they took home one for Best Rock Instrumental. The song was "Marooned." Forget about The Wall. Forget about Dark Side of The Moon. Forget about Wish You Were Here, Piper At The Gates of Dawn, Animals, Meddle, Saucerful Of Secrets. They won for "Marooned!!" What album was that off of again?

The Allman Brothers Band, who were a pioneering Jam Band since 1969, finally took home one Grammy in 1995 for "Jessica" - a song originally recorded for the album Brothers And Sisters...twenty years earlier.

The Rolling Stones didn't win until 1994. The honor? Best Rock Album for Voodoo Lounge - one of the few Stones albums you *don't* remember.

The first annual Grammy Awards were held in 1958. It seems the rest have stayed there as well.

Although our particular genre of music does not have the ratings-power to dominate the Grammy Awards Show, surely the Jam Band category is as credible as, say, New Age, which is recognized in one of the ninety-eight award categories. And surely Phish is as distinguished as Brave Combo, this year's Polka winner.

Mexican-American gets a title. Jam Bands does not.

Merengue gets a title. Jam Bands does not.

Southern Country Bluegrass Gospel gets a title. Jam Bands does not.

Tejano gets a title. Jam Bands does not.

Truth be told though, it really doesn't matter that we don't have our own Grammy category - not if The Academy gives the same treatment to it as it has given to rock music at large.

Why would we want Jam Band recognition at the Grammy Awards? What, so that a bunch of corrupt morons in suits could misrepresent the genre and give a serendipitous band a trophy shaped after an archaic form of music listening called the Gramophone? Let me remind you that the Gramophone is extinct. And so is any meaning that once might have gone to the Grammys.

Grammy Winners