Chris Cornell’s wife Vicky penned an open letter to her late husband published by Billboard.

Vicky expresses a number of thoughts, including her regret for not being there on the night he died. “I’m sorry, my sweet love, that I did not see what happened to you that night,” she wrote. “I’m sorry you were alone, and I know that was not you, my sweet Christopher. Your children know that too, so you can rest in peace.”

Cornell died shortly after Soundgarden’s show at the Fox Theatre in Detroit where he was found in his hotel room dead from an apparent suicide. Vicky released a statement following his death saying that Cornell was under the influence of Ativan, an anti-anxiety medication that can cause suicidal thoughts.

Read her full note below.

To My Sweet Christopher,

You were the best father, husband and son-in-law. Your patience, empathy and love always showed through.

You had always said I saved you, that you wouldn’t be alive if it were not for me. My heart gleamed to see you happy, living and motivated. Excited for life. Doing everything you could to give back. We had the time of our lives in the last decade and I’m sorry, my sweet love, that I did not see what happened to you that night. I’m sorry you were alone, and I know that was notyou, my sweet Christopher. Your children know that too, so you can rest in peace.

I’m broken, but I will stand up for you and I will take care of our beautiful babies. I will think of you every minute of every day and I will fight for you. You were right when you said we are soulmates. It has been said that paths that have crossed will cross again, and I know that you will come find me, and I will be here waiting.

I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone in the history of loving and more than anyone ever will.

_Always and forever,
Your Vicky_