[Editor's note: Starting this month we have a new editor taking over Inaudible Hiss. The estimable Brian Ferdman whose work has appeared here this past two months is leaping to the fore (or the fire as it were). You can email him- mybrainhurts@jambands.com. We'll see more from him in December. This month though, we have a piece crafted by our newly-reemployed webmaster, David Steinberg, zzyzx@jambands.com]

In the past few months, I have both been on tour and got a job in the corporate world. As a favor to Jambands readers who might be planning a similar transition in their future, I present this business to tour dictionary. Use it wisely.

Business Term: We plan to create a B2B enterprise.

Tour Term: Hey dude, I have an idea. Why don't we just buy a lot of ice and sell it to the beer vendors?

Business Term: You have exceeded our expectations for this quarter and will be appropriately compensated.

Tour Term: You miracled me!!!!! Thanks!! Here, have a goo ball!

Business Term: Yes your strike price on these options was $300 a share and our current price is $15 a share. However, if you stay with us, we fully expect a turnaround in our stock by the time they vest.

Tour Term: Yeah I mail ordered on the 3rd day for New Years tickets and I used a check instead of a money order and didn't use a #10 size envelope. Don't worry buddy, we'll get tickets.

Business Term: Merging with us would create a synergy.

Tour Term: I'll trade a Sunday for a Monday!

Business Term: We know that no one likes a reorg. However, we believe that this move will reposition us to be a leader in our field for decades to come.

Tour Term: Turn around! We just passed the venue!

Business Term: We're a market leader in our category.

Tour Term: Best Quesadillas in the lot!

Business Term: While our critics claim that we have overextended ourselves to make this acquisition, we disagree. Opportunities to obtain a company with these strengths are rare.

Tour Term: Hey can I borrow some money to go to Shoreline. I heard a rumor that Trey said, "Don't miss this show!"

Business Term: We will pay relocation costs.

Tour Term: Can I ride with you to the next show? I got gas money.

Business Term: While we have broken no laws, it's important to not even give the impression of impropriety while we are being investigated. Please adjust your behavior accordingly.

Tour Term: 6 up!