The Tao of Wu
by Jason Fladager
Communication Breakdown
In my previous article, I touched a little on the topic of listening, and how
listening is such a vital part of playing music in a band. Life is often like
a jam. Its seems kinda corny because you can pretty much add "Life is like a
_____" to anything and make it work. But think about it for a second. You
start with an idea, work through it, trip and fall a bit, and hopefully end up
in a better place than when you started. It seems to me that if you were to
look a jam as a metaphor for life there has to been some essential processes
that are common in both. I touched a little in my last article about how
essential listening is to playing music. Its the same with life. Most people
I encounter outside of this family spend far too much time talking and less
time listening. Its a skill like anything else and the more you develop that
skill the better you'll be. Its so vital in my humble opinion. As with
listening, maintaining relationships is also so important; not only musical
relationships, but personal relationships as well.
In the seven years that I have shared the stage with my band mates, we have
encountered our fair share of disagreements....make that tongue-lashings. One
of the things that we have realized only in the past year or so is that, while
we all share a common musical concept, we all aren't exactly the same people.
I am often so confused at why people don't think the same way I do that I can
be an outright bear to talk to. My drummer is a great guy but often very
moody and hard to decipher. I could go on and on.... Each of us has our
little quirks that pisses each of us off at times and in the past, those
little things added up and turned into bigger things...which in the end,
sometimes affected our performances. It's such a chore, but essential to all
of our performances is our ability to maintain our personal relationships with
each other. Despite what you may think, musicians are all sensitive
individuals. I supposed you kinda have to be. Imagine spending more time
with four sensitive guys per week than you do your own wife! It could turn
into a pretty big mess if you don't maintain those personal relationships with
one another.
One of the things we do to make sure all of us are on the same page before we
hit the stage is have a gripe session. This is the time where all of us get
together and spill the beans. Its a safe space where we are can talk freely
to one another about anything that is bothering us or happens to be on our
minds. Remember musicians being the sensitive types, this is hard to get to.
Its hard to take it when your band mates bring up something like...oh...your
singing being flat in a particular tune. In order for our performance to be
the best, you have to just agree that this is an area that you need to improve
on in order for the performance to be the best (dammit...I'm trying!). It was
refreshing when Terry, our drummer, came back from a backstage visit with Jon
Fishman at the Kohl Center in Madison, and he basically reiterated the same
idea. Terry said Fish talked in depth about how they all as musicians don't
let anything that's bothering them go for any length of time. Everyone brings
it up immediately rather than hold it in. Fish said, "Ya know...I've known
Mike forever and I still don't understand him, he's just Mike".
Creating that "safe space" in which all can express freely is so important
and goes hand in hand with creating that safe musical space on the stage,
where we can freely improvise and expand on musical concepts. Accepting that
we all are different creatures is the first step in creating that space.
