Roadtrip of the Month

Edited by Michael Turner - mturner@broadcast.com

Hello all,
Tony the asshole fan here ;) I just thought I'd finally get around to finishing up my Vegas review. I have to admit I'm mentally exhausted from all the verbal sparring between the old, new TP and I, but now that him and Martin are on the road and away from the computer I can finally get some *work* done! Not to mention many of the brain cells responsible for remembering the third night in Vegas have since passed on :( Still I feel I must do my best to defend my good name from the allegations of those Ominous Bastards with regards to a certain missing trailer ;)

Again the morning came way too soon but with the shades drawn and the AC a crankin' who had have guessed it was noon anyhow. Pete and I went through the usual routine, get up (slowly), shower, grab a bite to eat and do a little gambling. I can't quite remember what fine establishment we chose to make contributions in but we made them somewhere (trust me). I was getting a little tired of watered down drinks so I finally joined Pete in some beer drinking. I think we both did more milling about than actual gambling, still we managed to kill off the afternoon and decided to hit a decent Japanese restaurant before our final Legends adventure. I had never had Japanese food and Pete was gracious enough to offer me help in choosing something that I could digest. It was pretty good I must say, a bit pricey but I'd rather spend the money on myself than pouring it into some slot or losing it to some Black Jack dealer. The tooty fruity drink that I ordered did make me feel a bit girly though. Finished up and grabbed a cab. We made it to Legends right after the opening band left the stage. I think they were some local cover band. The place was a little emptier than Sat. but after all it was Sunday night. Saw a lot of the *regulars*; meaning people I had seen the two previous nights. Chatted, got some fresh air, and waited for the Pea Pods to hit the stage. I neglected to mention that since it was a *no repeat* weekend, Pete and I had spent quite a bit of time trying to recall all the songs they had not yet played. We kept thinking how this would be the best show cuz they still had so many of our favorites yet to play...Carrie, Adirondack, Blackberry Brandy, Jump for Joy among them. It almost seemed that they saved many of the tunes *I* wanted to hear for the final night. Anyhow they finally took the stage and I have no clue at this point what the setlist was...it's been a while since the show. I do remember it took me a bit to get into it, mainly cuz I was pretty exhausted. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that they were out of Newcastle! Dammit! I had to settle for Sam Adams or some other swill. This was not good since my body had gotten used to having the Newcastle running through my veins. Next time I'm in town I will make sure to have "Da Judge" Rudy stock up. About the third song I got the urge to boogie but my feet were not cooperating and I made it over near Caroline and tried to get them to move. They finally did and eventually everything was OK. The Seapods were starting to crank it up but somehow I don't think they ever could match their intensity of the previous night even though the setlist may have been better. Oh well, they were probably a bit tired too. I guess they are human, well not quite human, but you get the picture. Set break came and it was time for my boy to take the title back east where it belongs! You guessed it Belly Bucking...round 3! There was the usual wagering and pre-fight trash talking. It would be Big Daddy trying to win the title from the evil Harvey who had beaten Marty the previous night. Harvey seemed quite confident and determined to keep the title for the west coast. This was to be a heavy weight showdown worthy of the buildup! Whoops, again I'm forgetting to add that I had picked up one of those one time, throw away, cameras for the final night. It cost me fuckin' $20! Ouch! Talk about a rip-off but it's Vegas baby. I had taken a few pics earlier on and now got myself ringside so I could snap some "in action" shots for the Big Daddy promotional video. Ding..Ding...Fight time; the belly was fast and furious and they seemed to be feeling each other out (out not up!). Eventually Harvey started to wear down BDS...after all he was almost 44 years young. Still BDS kept doing his best and you could see the determination on his face. I had wagered on him before the fight and kept yelling East coast throughout the fight to encourage him. Things were not looking good for our hero and just when he appeared to be ready to throw in the towel, Barry "Benedict Arnold" Smolin reached into his magical bag and pulled out some Spinach. Big Daddy made it over to him in a nick of time and Barry poured it down his throat...immediately Big Daddy got his second wind. He ripped off his shirt (he was wearing a long sleeve shirt over a t) and exposed some funny ass T-shirt. I wish I could remember exactly what it said...something akin to Don't fuck with Big Daddy or some such thing. I have photo of it...I think. (I haven't developed the film yet) The tide had turned and Harvey began to back pedal. Fear filled his eyes. It was all over but the crying. Big Daddy continued to land heavy blow after heavy blow and eventually Harvey hit the deck. The ring doctor had to make sure he was O.K. think the smelling salts woke him up. BDS raised his arms in triumph and I collected my winnings. Big Daddy had reclaimed the title for us east coasters and the world was once again a safe and peaceful place. Like I said before my short term memory is shot so the following may have occurred before the belly bucking...at least I think it did. During set break Pete and I went over and chatted with Martini Roberts. As usual Dana managed to throw in a few jabs. No wonder they have no fans! I asked him about the trailer...I remembered them saying that something was wrong with it on Friday and he said they had fixed it the day before. Just for a little background the Trailer (the part they hitched to El Stinko) was parked outside Legends (in front) in the parking lot all weekend....almost all weekend ;) By parked I mean just sitting there. At some point I had decided that this was unwise and that Vegas is no place for a poor little trailer to be left alone with no protection or company :( Also it was out in front where anyone could see it...the least they could have done was put it out back behind Legends! OK so now I confess to Martini Roberts that Pete and I had picked it up on Friday and that we had thought of maybe playing a little prank on them and moving it. So Martini proceeds to tell us how that's what wrong with us Massholes, that we had to think about doing such a thing and that we should have just done it instead of being wussies, losers, pansies and the like. Again you get the picture. One thing they should know is not to push a Masshole...just go ask the Brits about those tea taxes! Had to bring down the whole British empire because those bastards pushed us too hard. Down with King George...umm, I mean King Dana! After our pleasant conversation I tell Pete that in the name of freedom everywhere it is our duty to move that damn trailer. Also recall that I felt sorry for the trailer being neglected and it was high time we taught those bastards a lesson! It was for their own good ;) We go outside and decide to move it. It was pretty light and we moved it to the far end of the lot. You could still see it if you walked outside though and after some careful consideration we decided to go the *full monty* and we moved it to the back of Legends, actually the side where you could not see if from the back or the front. Went back inside and enjoyed the 2nd set. I also was feeling devilish and went over to talk to Marty and glanced down at the setlist. I saw they were playing Jump for Joy as the final song. Well Pete was bitching to them about wanting to hear this all weekend so I went over and told him I spied the setlist and there was NO Jump for Joy. He said " You got to be fuckin' kiddin me!"...of course I was but I continued with my lie. So he does get his Jump for Joy as the encore and he looks at me and I confessed. After the show we began our long chorus of good-byes and they thanked us for coming out, etc. Finally most of us made it over to the bar and talked for a while. Dana continued his assault on the fans by picking on Sailor Pete. The whole trailer thing had slipped my mind I hear them talking about the trailer and motion to Pete to eavesdrop with me. Then Brian says "Rudy, we have a problem, the trailer is gone!" They even mentioned that it wasn't even paid off yet. Ahh, shit they all stamped outside. I begin to feel a bit guilty at that point. They came back in and then Max was about to join them in their search for it and I confessed to him...kind of, I n told them to ask Dana where it was, but old Martini Roberts just played along. None the less I think Max kind of caught the gist of it and figured it was OK. Marty eventually spotted it and they came in and gave us shit for moving it, but admitted it was funny! I was pleased and felt that I had gotten my revenge although I wish that Dana could have been the target. He kind of knew all along it wasn't missing cuz of our conversation..dammit! Oh well, wait till I take off with El Rancho ;) In my defense I hope the jury (the pod-net) sees that I was provoked and that I was just stealing it to show them how easy it was and that they had better take precautions in the future cuz the next thief may not be so innocent. all right now that I've cleared my good name I guess I can wrap this up. We eventually said good-bye for good, they finished loading up and hopped in El Stinko to begin the long journey home. I took some more pics...one of an empty martini glass on the empty stage was a particular favorite. We caught our cab once again and hit the sack. We had to check out the following morning and had the whole day to kill since our flight did not leave till midnight :( We decided to hit a bunch of the casinos and spent they majority of our day at the Rio. I played the ponies, and the dogs and watched a gazillion ball games at once. The only luck I had all weekend was on video blackjack which I had up to like $140 but cashed out at $35. Word of advice....always double up! We eventually go the airport and our flight was delayed...great. We even volunteered to stay when offered but then they told us it wasn't full after all. I called in sick the next day and I'm still recovering. Damn, I wish I could join all of you on Halloween but I guess I'll be up in Utica with that damn moe. band instead. Hope you all have a great time and remember to keep an eye on El Rancho ;)