Brisbane, Australia, June 1999
Rita and I were in Australia for the wedding of her goddaughter and a
couple of weeks of touring. While we were walking around Brisbane, we
passed the Festival Hall and noticed a poster for a concert by the
Beatels, a Beatles tribute band. They were touring Australia,
re-creating the Fab Four's 1964 conquest of the Land Down Under.
We bought tickets the old-fashioned way, at the Festival Hall box
office, choosing our seats from a seating chart that had the sold
seats marked out with a pencil.
Two nights later, Rita and I walked from our hotel through the CBD
(Central Business District) and grabbed a bite at a sidewalk cafe up
the block from the Festival Hall. While we dined, we watched a
parade of aging boomers heading for the Beatels concert.
We witnessed a classic scene in the queue to get in. The guy who got
in line just ahead of us tapped the guy right in front of him --
"What are the chances of our meeting in the queue like this!" -- and
introduced his mate: "This is Paul. He was in the first band I was
in right out of high school!" I could tell by his haircut he was
either still playing music or wishing he was.
This was by no means a big-time concert event, although in a country
of 14 million it may be that American-style stalag security just
hasn't become necessary. The guy who tore our tickets, and several
of the ushers, looked like they might have been working there on the
night in question 35 years ago. So did a fair share of the audience,
though there were plenty of younger people -- including teenagers --
in the audience as well.
There were maybe 1500 people in the Festival Hall, which we were told
is most often used for boxing matches. But this is where the Beatles
played exactly 35 years ago. My friend Rik Elswit played here with
Dr. Hook some time between then and now, and he says the acoustics
sucked. The side risers were blocked off by gray curtains, and the
rear risers were empty. There was plenty of room to move around.
Our seats were in the tenth row, on the right-center aisle -- right
at the edge of the boxing ring, judging by the position of the
lighting grid overhead -- 25 good old-fashioned incandescent lights
under metal reflectors. The walls and ceiling were painted black.
The lighting rig was pretty simple -- a few cans at the foot of the
stage, several fixed spots hanging in front, and three underpopulated
trusses behind. There was one Super Trooper up in the booth, with a
union guy standing by, but it was never used during the show.
The opening act was Jenny Balmer and Midnight Highway, forgettable
country-rock band fronted by a woman who looked like Gennifer
Flowers. The harmony singer was off-pitch a lot; the lead guitarist
wore a vest and no shirt. The musical director, stereotypically
enough, was a serious-looking keyboardist with a receding hairline.
He was also the author of the featured ballad.
After the opening act's gear was removed, on the stage -- as
advertised -- were nothing but Vox amps and a simple drum kit, just
like the Fabs used on the original tour. One mic for "Paul" and
"George" to share. A few more mics on the drums than there would have
been in 1964. The PA system was modest, but modern -- thank god!
The compere, a stocky gent from a local radio station, asked how many
people in the audience tonight had been there on the original date.
A few hands went up. The crowd was not as enthusiastic as I
expected, and I expect the compere and the band were hoping for a
little more period gush as well.
The Beatels came out dressed in black pants and vests, white shirts
and thin black ties. "Paul" had the requisite Hofner bass; "George"
had his Gretsch; "John" played a black and white Rickenbacker; and
"Ringo" had a spartan Ludwig kit -- on a riser, of course.
They began with the 30-minute set the Beatles had played on that very
stage exactly 35 years before:
I Saw Her Standing There
I Want to Hold Your Hand
You Can't Do That
All My Loving
She Loves You
Til There Was You
Roll Over Beethoven
Can't Buy Me Love
Twist and Shout
This Boy
Long Tall Sally
This was the most exciting part of the show, by far. The songs were
short and the performances energetic, even though the audience was
seated and polite throughout. That music is just so damn fine, you'd
have to be pretty bad musicians to mess it up. The arrangements
were faithful to the records, and the George guy had his parts down
pretty good - along with the detached, staring-off-into-space look.
After completing the '64 set, the band took a short break and then
came back with the same instruments but slightly different clothes.
"John" was wearing a brown jacket and rose-colored glasses. "This is
Rubber Soul!" proclaimed "Paul." They played:
Day Tripper
Bad Little Boy
We Can Work It Out
Help!
A Hard Day's Night
I Wanna Be Your Man
I Feel Fine
Taxman
Paperback Writer
Rain
Nowhere Man
Drive My Car
The Paul guy was just as insincere-sounding as the original. He kept
exhorting the audience to sing along, without much success. His
speaking-Paul voice was more convincing than his singing-Paul voice
in a lot of ways. That was more true for "John," who spoke less on
stage but looked a good deal more like his role model to begin with.
He chewed gum throughout the show, as the real John always seemed to
do.
The George guy was pretty solid on the guitar, sticking pretty
closely to the parts from the records. His lead vocal turns weren't
too impressive - but he was way better than the Ringo guy, whose
voice, particularly on "Yellow Submarine," was markedly substandard.
As the show went on, the illusion grew less convincing. The band did
a reasonable job of re-creating the songs up to the Revolver era, but
from that point on they weren't even helped much by the pre-recorded
accompaniments they used. And their vocals failed to capture the
feeling of the psychedelic-era Beatles. Still, it was great to hear
the most important music of our lives brought back with such
enthusiasm.
By mid-show, there were about 40 people dancing on the floor right in
front of the stage, and swaying with their arms in the air during
some of the dreamier numbers. The rest of the audience, including my
first-edition Beatlemaniac wife and myself, sat in our seats and
applauded politely at the end of each song. The Paul guy spoke
breathlessly between songs, as if it were Shea Stadium.
Right next to Rita was a woman of about 50, wearing a red dress and
holding a shiny alligator purse on her lap. She had big hair and
ladylike makeup, and she sat stock still throughout the performance.
I saw her moving her lips slightly, singing along to herself now and
then, but for the most part she carried herself as if she was waiting
for a doctor appointment.
By contrast, there was a blond couple who moved up and down our aisle
a couple of times, the tall long-haired guy carrying a drink and
obviously having had plenty of 'em already. His missus was dancing
down at the front, and he went back and forth a few times during the
show, always dancing a lurchy dance as he walked, always holding a
drink. She stayed down at the front for the most part, dancing
joyously to the music.
Across the aisle I saw people of all age groups, enjoying themselves
with great reserve: 50-somethings, their teenage kids, and lots of
in-betweeners.
Rita adds: "There were three screens in back of the stage. The one in
the center had clips of the old Beatles cartoon show running most of
the time. The other two stayed plainly lit. From time to time two
go-go dancers would emerge from backstage and step up in front of the
screens and do the frug, the swim, the monkey. They would disappear
and re-emerge and do exactly the same dances as the night
progressed. At first they fit in -- very appropriate to the time --
but they were still doing the same steps when we hit 'Tomorrow Never
Knows,' and then it was distracting and annoying.
"A 'Psychedelic light show' was promised. What we had was a
projection of colored mirror ball reflections, an oft-used smoke
machine, wildly thrown-around spots, and a film of blobby gels. I
found it pretty funny. Oh yeah, there was a strobe light as well."
Another break, and then they came back out in Sgt. Pepper uniforms...
Tomorrow Never Knows
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band->
With a Little Help from My Friends
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
When I'm 64
Penny Lane
I Am the Walrus
Why Don't We Do It in the Road?
Come Together
Something
Yellow Submarine
Hey Jude
Revolution
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
Let It Be
After Ob-La-Di, the Paul guy started to what sounded like it would be
an introduction to "The Ballad of John and Yoko," but the
pre-recorded (offstage? I doubt it) piano intro to "Let It Be"
started, and we decided we had had enough. This show could have
ended after "Revolution," and probably should have. It could have
ended after "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da," too. Maybe it ended after "Let It
Be," but we were in a taxi before they got to the bridge so we'll
never know.