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Columns > David Steinberg - Some Are Mathematicians

Published: 2002/09/24
by David Steinberg

Sharing in the Groove

Due to a change in Concur’s vacation policy, my month of September
became a way of seeing just how many days I could take off. Between
Bumbershoot, the Big Bottom Festival [1] my friends throw, and the
Austin City Limits Festival, I had my musical options covered. I had
a different kind of item on my agenda too. Holly and Rob were getting
married. Normally a friend’s wedding wouldn’t be column worthy, no
matter how much I love them. However, they decided to have it near
where Holly grew up… in a town named Weekapaug, RI2.
Since Weekapaug doesn’t exactly have an international airport, I had
to fly into Providence. That gave me an excuse to visit some friends – one that I hadn’t seen since the 92/93 NYE run – and check out the
town. Much to my surprise, the Providence Civic Center is now known
as the Dunkin’ Donuts Center. Excuse me, it’s the Dunkin’ Donuts
(registered trademark) Center (trademark). I’ll again never be able
to listen to the 12/29/94 Bowie without thinking of chocolate honey
dipped sticks.

While driving down I-95 a plan formed. I was going to reenact one of
the stories about Weekapaug Groove and search around for a girl to
reject me. Alas it was too late in the season to find random people
on the beach. Besides another issue was raised. What if she was up
for it?
Me: You wouldn’t want to come back to my room would you?
Girl: Sure, why not?
Me: Let me clarify here. I mean do you want to have meaningless sex?
Girl: Well I have nothing better to do right now so…
Me: Do you maybe have a sister who would be less pliable?
Once it became obvious that that quest was going to fail, I wandered
the town. It quickly came apparently where one line of the Mike’s
Groove trilogy came from. I know the motto of Weekapaug and that’s
"Big dude in the doorway was blocking my way."
Every road in Weekapaug is a private road. The beaches are private
beaches. The tennis club is private. No matter where you go, you
shouldn’t be there.

Saturday started out uneventfully. The Weekapaug Inn is a laid back
place. It’s so trusting that there are no locks on the doors. It’s
so relaxing that there are no phones in the rooms. If it weren’t for
my cell phone, I would have had no way of checking my email. I do
have a cell phone though, so I was able to get the news that ticket
information was coming in. Maybe I should have kept that to myself.
I just couldn’t though. The news spread. A makeshift computer room
formed in the phone closet. A laptop there was set up so everyone
could check their mail.
The workers at the inn were bemused by all of this. I talked to them
about Phish and Weekapaug Groove. They had all heard of the song and
had witnessed an occasional head come to town to buy Weekajunk [3].
None of them could give a meaning to the line, "Trying to make a woman
that you move." I was hoping being there would cause it to make
sense, but it was not to be.
The ceremony itself was moving. It was great to see two people I
cared for so much taking that step in their life. However, as
wonderful as that was, it really isn’t Jambands fodder. What was was
the wedding band that night – Jazz Bastards. Sure opening a wedding
show with Sneaking Sally is a questionable call. Songs about
infidelity don’t really belong there. We did get songs such as Mr
Charlie, AC/DC Bag, and Roses Are Free to keep the younger crowd
dancing. The inevitable did happen. The second set closed with a
Weekapaug. How many people can say that they’ve seen a Weekapaug in
Weekapaug? I suspect very few. That number has grown by about 100
These next three months have the potential to just be filler. I could
just be biding my time while I wait to go to the Garden. While the
potential is there, weekends like this are far more than marking time.
With a few more of these, it’ll be December in no time.

[1] Named that because it’s held in the Big Bottom Valley
[2] Actually Weekapaug apparently isn’t a town or a city. It’s a
"Fire District."
[3] I am a proud owner of a Weekapaug Inn polo shirt, 2 Weekapaug Inn
glasses, and a Weekapaug baseball cap.
David Steinberg got his Masters Degree in mathematics from New
Mexico State University in 1994. He first discovered the power of live
music at the Capitol Centre in 1988 and never has been the same. His
Phish stats website is at
and he was the stats section editor for
The Phish Companion.

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