Current Issue Details

Buy Current Issue


Published: 2014/04/01

Umphrey’s McGee to Offer Headlice and Cockatrice

Following-up on the popularity of Headphones and Snowcones, which allows fans at each performance to receive a wireless soundboard feed, Umphrey’s McGee will expand its day-of-show offerings with Headlice and Cockatrice. Starting this evening in Chattanooga, every fan who signs up for the program will arrive at the venue during soundcheck where they will be whisked away to a shady local daycare center for extended head-to-head contact with a toddler afflicted by pediculosis (head lice). Upon returning to the club, the fan will be greeted by the mythical cockatrice, a two-legged dragon with a rooster’s head. The beast will then use its massive beak to aggressively peck at the cooties and nits for no less than 35 minutes while the band members recoil in horror. So far no one has signed up for Headlice and Cockatrice.


There are 9 comments associated with this post

WOW April 1, 2014, 11:18:41

What kind of drugs are you people on?

Jon April 1, 2014, 11:29:42

sounds like an improvement over a usual UM show

APRILYOUFOOLZ April 1, 2014, 11:42:19


WatchTheMeat April 1, 2014, 12:58:48

“So far, no one has signed up.” HAHAA

Booby McGee April 1, 2014, 14:07:54

Or you can get free crabs by sleeping with phish chicks.

ummmmm April 1, 2014, 15:10:38

or just go dance with the wooks at a bill graham nye furthur show… watch out for malnurished babies of haight street and norcal ewoks crawling under your feet…..

Werd April 1, 2014, 17:47:37

that’s original

GOODS April 1, 2014, 18:56:17

Check out this up and coming band, def UM influenced! I’d sign up for this btw

we gonna win dem jah, jah April 1, 2014, 18:59:03

Wow that band goods is sick.

Note: It may take a moment for your post to appear

(required) (required, not public)