Smoke and Mirrors – Magic Theater
ARIES (March 21st-April 19th): Wallowing in the mire of motivation-sapping dank nuggets, you’ve been struggling this month. Fall’s harvest is great and all, but you need to get SOME work done. Enjoy live music at your favorite club as a reward for completing some tasks that don’t involve any bubbling water for a change, Cheech.
TAURUS (April 20th-May 20th): You’ve been one fired up Bull lately. Seems there aren’t enough prospects of the opposite sex in the world right now to please you. Go see The Yohimbe Brothers when they come to town as their funky sounds and danceable rhythms could arouse even the most exhausted lover.
GEMINI (May 21st-June 20th): What better way to spend the spooky holiday of Halloween than with the wacky band Ween. They’ve got the ass-end of Halloween covered, apparently. Make sure to cover your own ass by not taking the blame for something someone else did this month. It is possible to be TOO kind, ya know?
CANCER (June 21st-July 22nd): If ghosts with dreads and goblins wearing patchouli oil are business as usual each Halloween, you might be jamband fan. The anticipation of this sacred holiday has you all worked up. Have a ghoulish night on the town with your favorite band. If you feel tired by the end of the night, chow down on some candy for quick energy.
LEO (July 23rd-August23rd): You’ve been receiving crazy messages in your dreams lately. Don’t try too hard to interpret them as they won’t make any sense to your conscious mind. Instead, just sit back in dreamland and ride the weird roller coaster you’ve dreamt of called the “Pig Twister.” Realize that the ride in your dream represents the fun time you’ll have while seeing Pork Tornado’s Halloween show. Listen to some mellow tunes as you drift off to sleep for the rest of the month.
VIRGO (August 24th-September 23rd): BOO!! Yeah, Halloween is here and you are ready to rage. Don’t shirk any responsibilities which may include taking your little brother out trick-or-treating. If you get the munchies you can always steal some of his candy before heading to the show later that night! Heck, you might as well steal a big handful of treats and pass around the sugary good vibes at the show.
LIBRA (September 24th-October 23rd): If your soul feels dark and cloudy as daylight savings time begins, mack in the sunny vibes of some phat tunes. Throw some freshly burned discs from a summer Galactic show in the deck and ride the funky wave, baby. Some of you may start to feel a small funk coming on by mid-month. Ignore it and go buy some incense at your local headshop.
SCORPIO (October 24th-November 21st): If it seems like the rainy days of Fall will never end, get in out of the cold. Step out of the deluge to enter a warm dry club and see the band New Monsoon. If you don’t be careful you just may drown in their killer jams and great tunes. Surface for some air and slow things down later in the month.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22nd-December 21st): Sometimes you just need to chill out by yourself. Take an introspective psychedelic journey through the hills of Vermont as the leaves change into a rolling expanse of intensely bright and vivid colors. While in Vermont, you might as well rock to Raq at Nectar’s in Burlington.
CAPRICORN (December 22nd-January 20th): As the weather cools and the days become shorter, change is in the air for the Capricorn. You are not usually a big fan of Halloween, but this year you get in touch with your inner-child, loosen up, and have some fun. If that means wearing a Homer Simpson costume at the moe. Halloween show, so be it. D’OH!
AQUARIUS (January 21st-February 18th): Your brain has been feeling kind of gnarled lately. You’re definitely feeling beat. Freshen up the old melon by reading a book. Make sure it’s about something you like. Why not try a biography on your favorite musician? I don’t think Deadbase or the Pharmer’s Almanac qualify as quality reading material.
PISCES (February 19th-March 20th): You have quite a sweet tooth and most likely will put on some pounds during the candy-filled holiday that is Halloween. You’ll feel your energy levels rise by mid month after the spooky holiday is over. See Les Claypool and his Frog Brigade when they come through, a scary good show in it’s own right.